To Love A CPU
by MysticQ
Summary: Ignored by his best friend one too many times, Lucas seeks solace in the one person who won't turn him away. Will these feelings of unwantedness and a need for companionship turn into something more? Will they be returned? Only time will tell, but one thing is for certain: Nothing will complicate your life more than falling for your best friend's copy. Set in SSBB.


Author's Note: This has to be one of my strangest ideas for a fanfic that I've ever come up with, and that's saying something compared to a few other things you'll see from me in the future.  
Vladimir: Seriously, be prepared for some weird shit.  
Me: In the future, and now as well.

Disclaimer: Last I checked, I'm not Sakurai.

/OO/

"The winner is... Blue team!" The announcer's voice loudly proclaimed this for all in the game room to hear. There were a few groans that came from the smashers had placed bets on Meta Knight and Samus' team instead of Ness and Olimar's, while those that had done the opposite let out excited cheers and high-fived each other. I myself simply smiled. I'd known all along that Ness' team would win, but I hadn't placed a bet on him. I didn't want to seem like any of the others, just hoping that I'd chosen right so I could make a bit of money off of his success. That isn't something that a friend would do.

Once the others left the game room, a few with angry grumbles and a few about two hundred coins richer, I was left sitting alone on a pale green couch, the TV in front of me casting a soft glow over my face. Ness had told me to wait for him in the game room after the fight was over so we could play, and that was exactly what I was going to do. Even if the game room was one of the coldest rooms in all of Smash Manor, I would wait for Ness to arrive so we could finally have fun like we used to.

I sighed, pulling my knees up and resting my chin on them while watching another match between Peach and King Dedede start. _'It just hasn't been the same lately,'_ I thought. _'Ever since Ness started hanging out with Nana, we barely see each other anymore. I get that they're happy being friends and all, but... I miss my friend.'_

Two more matches played on the TV while I waited for Ness to show up like he'd promised he would. _'What's taking him so long?'_ I thought._ 'It shouldn't take this much time to get to the game room.' _Just when I was about to get up and look into the hall outside the game room to check for my friend, I heard laughter. A part of me perked up at hearing Ness' voice, but another part only grew sadder at the fact that Nana's was mixed into it. Their voices became louder as they neared the game room, and I felt my hopes begin to rise. Even if Nana was with him, he still remembered his promise to me, and that was what mattered.

At least, I thought he'd remembered. Just when I felt a smile begin to form on my face, Ness and Nana's voices began to fade away. I looked at the door in complete shock, then moved my knees down from their curled up position and got up from the bench. I rushed over to the door, twisting the knob and pulling it open. Sticking my head out into the hall and looking to my left, I watched the backs of my best friend and... What seemed to be his new best friend as they walked down the hall, both of them talking and laughing with each other.

Sharp pain erupted through my chest, making me stagger back through the doorway, one hand coming up to grab at my heart. My throat became tight, making it hard to swallow, and my eyes quickly became wet with tears. I gasped for breath, reaching out with my free hand to shut the door, and began walking back to where I'd been sitting in front of the TV. Then, I collapsed just before the couch, landing hard on my bottom, and covered my face with my hands while I sobbed.

I never imagined that Ness would just... Forget about me like that. _'What happened to us?'_ I thought, my hands desperately trying to keep up with my tears. _'What happened to being best friends? W... Why doesn't he care anymore?!' _The strength of my sobbing increased, becoming louder as the pain in my heart grew. While I cried out all my sorrow and frustration, I faintly felt something in my pocket moving around. It exited the pocket, moving up my thigh and winding its way to my shoulder. Once it firmly wrapped itself around both my shoulders, I felt a tongue softly move over my cheek, licking away some of my tears.

Lifting up my head to look at the source of the licking with slightly blurry vision, my eyes landed on a pink and rubbery snake looking back at me with a concerned expression. "You alright, Lucas?" it asked softly. "You haven't cried like this in a while. What's going on?"

I sniffed a bit, forcing a smile onto my face while looking at my constant companion. "Oh, n-nothing, Rope Snake," I said. "Uh, I mean, Snake Rope. Sorry. Still not used to calling you by that name."

Snake Rope lightly nudged my cheek with his head. "I'll let it slide for now," he replied. "Now, tell me. What's wrong?"

I bit my lip and looked away from Snake Rope, a few more tears escaping my eyes. "I- I just..." I sighed shakily, lowering my head. "I miss my best friend," I said in a quiet voice.

Snake Rope tilted his head a bit in confusion. "You mean Ness?" he asked. "Don't you two see each other practically every day for Brawls?"

I nodded my head, rubbing at my eyes with a closed fist as I tried to calm myself enough to speak normally. "I-it's not the same," I said. "H-he barely even speaks to me anymore, and when he does, he's always with Nana, and-"

"Woah there," Snake Rope said, his eyes narrowing a bit in suspicion. "Lucas, are you... Jealous?"

A fierce blush appeared on my face, and I quickly shook my head. "No!" I shouted in denial. "I'm just sad that we never spend any time together anymore!"

"I think you're jealous Ness is spending the time he used to spend with you with a girl," Snake Rope said. "Lucas, this is something every pair of best friends has to go through at some point. One of you was bound to take an interest in someone else, and now that it's happened, you don't know how to deal with it." Snake Rope lightly nudged my cheek once more. "Just talk to him, Lucas," he said. "If you speak honestly and tell him how you feel, he's bound to listen."

I sniffed once more, no longer crying, but instead looking at my friend with hope. "You think so?" I asked.

"I know so," Snake Rope responded. "Trust me."

I smiled at the pink rope snake, lifting one of my hands up and petting his head. "Thanks, buddy," I said. "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

Snake Rope licked at my hand, then removed himself from my shoulders and wound his way back into my pocket. "Good," he said on the way down. "Try to stay positive." With that, he wrapped his body up into a ball, safely nestled in my pocket.

I rubbed at my eyes a bit more, looking down at my feet and feeling just the slightest bit of hope in my heart that things would work out for me and Ness. _'Maybe he's right,'_ I thought. _'Maybe I really can have my best friend back.' _

A noise I recognized as Ness' yell caught my attention then, and I lifted my head to see another fight had started while I'd been crying. It appeared to be a free-for-all with Ness, Bowser, Lucario, and Captain Falcon. I stared at the TV in confusion, wondering how Ness could be there when I'd just seen him with Nana before I noticed his clothing. Ness had been wearing his usual outfit, consisting of a blue and yellow striped T-shirt, denim shorts, white socks, red shoes, a red baseball cap with a blue bill, and a yellow backpack.

The Ness I was looking at on screen wore a different outfit. His was a black T-shirt with a Mr. Saturn on it, and his denim shorts were a dark grey color. His socks looked to be a light purple, just like his baseball cap was. The bill on it was gray, much like his shorts. Lastly, the shoes were black, and his backpack was a pale tan color. This was Ness, but it was also not Ness. The person I was watching technically wasn't even a person, but a CPU instead.

"A CPU," I murmured, keeping my eyes on him while he fought. Whenever the original Smasher wasn't available for a fight, or if a group of people just wanted to have one for fun and their ideal member happened to not be around, a CPU was brought in to fill their spot. Their skill levels could be changed by speaking aloud a special code, then saying the skill level you desired. They all lived on the opposite side of the mansion of us, in the west wing. "When the real thing isn't around..." I trailed off. _'You call a CPU...' _

My eyes widened as an idea hit me, making me completely forget about Snake Rope's words. Of course! Why hadn't I thought of it before? Since Ness was always busy having fun with his new best friend, I could just play with one of his CPUs! It wouldn't be the same as actually being with Ness, but they were programmed to act just like the one they were modeled after, and I wouldn't have to potentially mess up what remained of our friendship by appearing to be jealous- which I wasn't. Everyone would be happy!

My eyes stayed glued to the TV, a grin slowly appearing on my face as all traces of sadness left me. _'I can't wait!'_ I thought, watching as the CPU of Ness sent Lucario flying across the stage.. _'Once I make friends with his CPU, I'll never be ditched again!'_

/OO/

Author's Note: Phew. This took me over two years to write. Possibly three. I can't remember exactly when I got the idea, but trust me: it was a while back. Now that I've gotten it up, I can finally stop worrying about it and work on other things. Don't worry. I plan on updating this every now and then. This is a plot-line that I'm very invested in. So, tell me all your thoughts on this in a review, if you please. See you next time, lovelies!


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